Facebook asks what's on my mind today and it was the exact prompt I needed to tackle what I had in mind.

This is the guiding principle of my artistic life. I call it ‘investment without attachment,’ which means, we do the work consistently and well, tirelessly, doggedly. And we focus on that—the work, and the quality of the work, because that’s what we can control—not the outcome of the work.”

- Jeannine Ouellette

Most people need consistency more than they need intensity. Intensity: run a marathon, write a book in 30 days, silent meditation retreat. Consistency: don’t miss a work out for 2 years, write every week, daily silence. Intensity makes a good story. Consistency makes progress.”

- James Clear

Both of these are principles I generally believe in. The challenge was that it’s easier for me to implement in some areas of my life (my personal finance, my career as a performing artist) and much harder in others - especially when it comes to my own “output.”

Just like it can sometimes be hard for a singer/dancer/musician to differentiate whether the singing/dancing/playing in the moment is for fulfilling their responsibility of choosing this as a profession or for nurturing their soul; it can be tricky for those who value authentic self-expression as highly as meaningful artistic or creative output to identify between two. The instinct is to think and want them to be the same, because it would make us feel better, but from my own experience and observation, they are unfortunately not only not always the same but sometimes actually pull the opposite direction.

The singer/dancer/musician trickiness I was able to work through and find my choices and balance within, which had made both the “profession” and “soul” departments much happier; the “self-expression/meaningful output” trickiness however, seems to be a theme that haunts me in the background since the moment “Professional Art Industry” and “Social Media” met each other in my life, and one that I didn’t think I have the bandwidth to tackle until now.

Since I sometimes would remind my budget clients & students that “I don’t have time” or “I don’t have the energy for that” is often either a passive way of saying “this is not a priority to me” (which could be true), or a way to avoid admitting “how I spend my time and energy does not align with what I identified as my priorities”; I am taking my own reminder now to give it the time and energy matching how important I perceive finding the right balance between authentic self-expression and meaningful output is to me.

Which means, to me, for now, circling back to the top two quotes, having the patience to build sustainable habits focusing on consistency, and giving myself the grace and courage to do and test things in the open, despite the perceived outcome from others and especially from myself.

Which means, to be consistent in this intention, I might need to accept inconsistency in which language I think and write with, inconsistency in topic, tone, platform, format, quality, my own logic and much more. Because I believe explorations and adjustments is key for finding what matters and what sticks.

It could be messy or cringey or even “bad for business,” whatever that means.

But I believe we’ve got more reserve for risking “business” than we’ve got time in life left to not tackle certain messy things at this point. And even if I find out I'm only interested in/capable of self-expression that doesn't serve much meaning to more than myself, it would still be a much better scenario to have that clarity to live and act accordingly.

Exercise/Reflection/Discovery/Adjustment of the day -

While it feels more familiar to post through my personal FB, more sensible to write on the blog here first hand, I discover that I feel least affected by a “pre-conceived expectation” when sharing my thoughts the TWW Facebook page, so I think I will be focusing on writing first from that place and sharing/moving content elsewhere only if/when it seems fitting. And today's post seems fitting to also be kept here :)

As always, whether you are here because you care about us personally enough to stick around occasionally; or there’s something we are sharing and attempting here that sparks your interest, motivates you, inspires you, challenges you, entertains you or comforts you in anyway - know that I appreciate you in both your kind and visible support and your silent presence.

x P·曼